Couples: when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time
I remember first hearing these words in my early twenties. I heard them. Hence, I brought myself a whole lot of painful lessons and needless suffering because I always wanted to give people a second chance, and a third, and a fourth … You get the picture. I considered myself to be one of the most loving, loyal, and big-hearted people out there. I suffered many disappointments and even more heartbreaks because of this, both in friendships and romantic relationships.
I expected people to change just because I thought they should be or feel a certain way.
His behavior seems a little sketchy. My ego was way too big.
Sure, I saw the behavior. I even saw the red flags. I married someone after seeing all the red flags in the very beginning. But there was so much about him that was good and pure, and the love and passion we had for each other was real and intense. I truly believed that people could change.
And they can. But more importantly I believed I was different, and that behavior would never exist again now that he was with me. It should be no surprise that the marriage ended and was the most devastating and painful loss of my life. The dating world after divorce is a lot of things—exciting, fun, scary, sometimes horrible, but most of all, a test. How much have you learned from your relationships? And what are you going to do differently this time around? For me, I learned a lot, but I have blind spots. And comfort zones I fall into.
These are my red flags.
What I tell friends when I see them falling into the same trap I often do is to ask themselves some key questions and to be rigorously honest:. The best advice I got just this week was from a friend who knows my journey well. Just recognize that you are finally learning what your heart truly wants and moving closer to that every day. And I still have a ways to go.
But I trust that the right one, the one who steals my heart for good, will show me how amazing he is for me…. Quarreling couple image via Shutterstock. To learn more about Dina, visit her website Essential Balance Healing.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
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It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. What I tell friends when I see them falling into the same trap I often do is to ask themselves some key questions and to be rigorously honest: Is this person someone who embodies all the things that are important to you, or are you convincing yourself that you can change them?
You can never change someone. Walk away.
Are you attracting the same type of person you always do the one who never works out for you and always le to heartbreak? If so, walk away.
For me, those are trustworthy, spiritual, a great communicator, and someone who is affectionate, loving, and expressive with their emotions. Web More Posts.
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When a man tells you who he isbelieve him.
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