But you can improve your odds if you can find and understand their imperfections, and they, yours. Know, understand, appreciate. What does that mean? This quote is widely circulated, and in minor variations. After all, we are all humans, and therefore, all quite a bit shy of perfect. At least everyone I know is that way. The quote concludes by saying that instead, we come, or fall into, love by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. You see the flaws, and you see them clearly. But we love them anyway.
When we are infatuated, we often miss the flaws, but by the time we are well and truly in love, we have cleared our eyes, and are seeing them for the human they are. Flaws and all, yet we love them none the less. Why is loving them despite their imperfections important? You will have to figure out what flaws you can deal with and which you cannot.
Instead, you have to figure out what is a deal breaker, and what you can live with. If you can live with someone who treats you badly, or cheats on you regularly, you probably need to work on your self-esteem.
But there are plenty of minor issues. Toilet paper feeding over the top or under, can you live with their preference? What if they have an allergic reaction to cabbage and you love sauerkraut? What if they are forgetful? What if they love a color you hate? What if they like a different kind of music, and hate your favorite? We all have imperfections. What can you live with? Where can I apply this in my life?
I believe that this quote can be applied to anyone with whom you have a relationship.
While the likely intent of the quote is romantic love, I believe it applies equally to the other flavors of love, be it platonic, familial, or any other name by which you label a close, caring bond. Is your best friend from school perfect?
What about your best friend at work, are they perfect? Is there a single member of your family who is perfect? Yet you have some kind of loving relationship with them all, right? But you know they are flawed, as are all humans, right? And none are even remotely close to perfect.
Unless you are still in the infatuation phase of a romantic relationship, in which case they will be, until reality returns. In short, this quote is about observation. Understanding the other person by knowing them very well. Knowing what they like and dislike.
By knowing, you can begin to understand. As you understand, the respect between you grows. As the respect grows, the opportunity arises for appreciation and even love, of the appropriate type for the relationship. Again, nothing will be perfect, but with a common core and a common direction, one can find appreciation and love. Whether it is a romantic pursuit, or a life long buddy, seeing them, warts and all, is important.
You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
In knowing, a decision can be made. What is important is seeing the other person, flaws and all, and still loving the person. That, to me, is what the quote is all about. There is nothing you can do if someone else does not feel the same way towards you as you do toward them. They are their own person, and you have no right to force them to feel a certain way, correct? All you can do in such a situation is to allow them to be themselves and be the best person you can be. Perhaps they will change their mind, perhaps the will not. In either case, you are being the best possible version of yourself that you can be.
Who knows what that version of you might be, or what kind of person you might attract. Great Post. It seems that we share some similar views on this topic. Also, our blogs are a bit similar. Great minds think alike, I suppose.
Home Home About …the character of a man… Return to Content By philosiblog on 5 August in communicationforgivenessloverespectsharingunderstanding. Like this: Like Loading I feel that each of us has the potential to make some contribution and together, working with a clear aim, we can change our world.
“we come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.”
Woo Hoo! Zavier 14 November at pm. Thanks for stopping by and for sharing your story. I love it,turn guys r gr8…. Thanks for stopping by, and for leaving such a kind comment.
Hope to hear from you again. Seems that way.
Glad we met. Thanks for stopping by. Search for your favorite quote….
If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be.
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