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Put down the rulers, guys — whether your penis is the "right" size depends on the proportions of the rest of your body, a new study finds. Women rate men with larger penises more attractive, but the returns on bigger genitals start to decrease at a flaccid length of 2. What's more, larger penises gave tall men a bigger attractiveness boost than shorter men.

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This article originally appeared on AlterNet. The question of what women want has been baffling people for years. Many books, papers, irate blogs, pick-up artist seminars, films, art, and music have been devoted to this pressing topic, each one seeming to contradict the last.

If we are to believe fan fiction erotica involving characters from books, TV and movieswhich is primarily written by women, women want to see Severus Snape from Harry Potter get it on with a Teletubby. Predictably, science has stepped in to provide some more concrete answers than those involving pastries or fuzzy aliens. The following studies set out to discover what turns women on. The will definitely surprise you.

What science can tell us about the many bizarre quirks of human desire

Everything, but a naked male. The women, both straight and lesbian, were turned on by just about all of it, including the copulating apes. Gay men had Rate naked guys opposite response, and neither male group responded at all to the apes. It also proves that the stereotype of women needing emotional connection and established intimacy to be turned on is not the case after all. When women were shown a naked man who had an erection, they were turned on.

Nude dudes will make you want to stab your eyes!

Ten-day-old beards. A study published in Evolution and Human Behavior in April of this year found that straight women are more attracted to men with beards, specifically day stubble and full beards.

Researchers from the University of New South Wales had both men and women rate the attractiveness of different facial hair growth clean-shaven, five-day stubble, day stubble, full beards. While the men gave higher ratings for the clean-shaven look, women rated clean-shaven faces as the least attractive. Researchers also found that women perceived full-bearded men to be better and more protective fathers.

So there you have it.

Science shaves the day once more. The names James, Jack and Ryan.

A lot, it seems. Wiseman surveyed more than 6, people in order to find out what names people in the UK most associate with success, luck and attractiveness.

Women found Ryan to be the most attractive name, followed by James and Jack. James was Rate naked guys deemed most successful, which perhaps explains why it took us so long to get over the crippling rejection of our high school boyfriend. The least attractive names were Peter, Thomas and George. For women, men found the names Sophie, Rachel and Olivia to be the babeliest, and Helen, Jane and Ann to be the least. Gasoline, leather, printer ink.

Here"s a list of easy things to try nude when you"re with your guy, alone, and with friends (hey, you only live once).

A survey by soap company Daz involving 2, participants determined that British women are turned on by the smell of leather, gasoline, paint, and printer ink? Not penile thrusting. A study on the erotic sensitivity of the vagina, conducted by a team of Colombian researchers, paid 16 prostitutes and 32 feminists who were unpaid and manually stimulated their vaginal walls in a lab.

They were trying to determine whether penile thrusting is an effective way to bring about orgasm. Many sex workers are feminists. As we wrote lyladies are not so keen on the smell of male cologne. According to a study from the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, men should step away from the Axe Body Spray immediately, as it repels women. A case study in Seizure found that a year-old Taiwanese woman experienced Rate naked guys once or twice Rate naked guys week from the mere act of brushing her teeth followed by a mild non-convulsive seizure.

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Neurologists at Chang Gung Memorial Hospital were predictably baffled and performed a of tests on the woman. Then they poked her gums with chopsticks is it getting hot in here? The poor woman was not delighted by these occurrences. She's also attempting to lead a haiku revival on her blog, annapulley.

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