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Not that long ago, my go-to wedding gift for newlyweds was a crisp, fresh copy of the book What Predicts Divorce. Oh, you know where this is going.

Spoiler alert: I was suddenly being invited to way fewer weddings. Obviously, my intent was to give couples way more than a book. For real. Really, really complicated. I get so excited that I might get a bit too enthusiastic about sharing all the good and not-so-good news and tidbits with other couples now your wedding gift.

Because the relationship science reveals a well-tested truth: If you want to have a long-lasting, happy marriage or partnership, you really ought to know what not to do. At least not every day. And, of course, there are all the things you also should and must and I urge you to be intentionally doing toward building your strong relationship and the mini-culture of your marriage.

Indeed, relationships are serious business requiring serious work. Of lightening our grip a bit? Given all the over-striving in nearly every area of our lives, including our relationship lives, have we forgotten how to laugh, especially with and at ourselves? What if we lightened up just a tad on the business of our marriages, and laughed into their messiness a bit more?

What if we pulled back the veil on the myth of having a RelationshipGoals kind of relationship? A little more laughter. A lot more lightness. And gentleness.

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And forgiveness of self and of the other as we move in and through the messes that are natural and frequent in our relationships? We do! And lots of it. I might have uttered out Married for serious an entire shortlist of my favorites from the data in my recent TEDx Minneapolis talk. And, I hoped that the resulting audience laughter produced the very benefits that research suggests laughter can and will bring about: lowered stress and increased immune systems.

True story.

Seriously. what’s the point of marriage?

Did you know laughter literally activates your stress response? It stimulates circulation and relaxes your muscles.

It releases endorphins and improves our abilities to fight disease—and so much more. Because while relationships are serious business, so is joy. Thomas, Minnesota, studying and writing about relationships. BY Carol Bruess - August 15, Loved reading this! Thank you for sharing it!

Tell your spouse that you're thankful for having him or her in your life

And hell yes, we need more laughter in our relationships, not just with the romantically ones, but also the ones with other family members, colleagues, friends etc. Always so insightful and on target!!! I still love our bare chested hugs!!!

Well with my husband of 45 years and counting. Thank you for being here. Browse By Category. MEet Kate visit us contact work with us. Search for:.

Career Development. Most Popular. Image Courtesy of minonimia Not that long ago, my go-to wedding gift for newlyweds was a crisp, fresh copy of the book What Predicts Divorce. Funny, I know. Ah, relationships: They sometimes feel more like relationSH Ts. Yes, sometimes just a little better is good enough—for today.

What if?

Now imagine what being a little less serious with yourself might do for your marriage. Carol Bruess. Like what you see?

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August 15, am. Thanks again for the sweet reminder! August 16, am.

Most-read posts:. Arrow Alone. Hi, I'm Kate. Welcome to my happy place. Deing a life well-lived.