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Singles make up a big percentage of any given church, and pastors spend a lot of time teaching about marriage and parenting. But how do you actually find the right person to marry? Our awkwardness about this topic is one reason single Christians make so many relationship blunders—and why many marriages start out on the wrong foot.

10 worst mistakes christians make while dating

I asked some of my single friends and one of my daughters to help me compile this list of most common dating mistakes. Here are the Top Being desperate for a relationship.

Some singles freak out when they hit age They stop trusting God and begin a nail-biting search for a mate. My friend Nicole Doyley, author of The Waitsays she knows women who are so frantic about finding Prince Charming that they immediately fall for any guy who asks them out.

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Being too picky. On the flip side, some singles are waiting for the perfect human specimen to sweep them off their feet.

Picky guys want a girl who could appear in the swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated. Or, some Christian women expect to marry a spiritual giant who prays four hours a day.

Be realistic. Whoever you date will have feet of clay and plenty of flaws to match your own.

Not developing healthy friendships with the opposite sex. Oftentimes too much pressure is placed on Christian singles to pair up, especially if they are attending a Bible college with a reputation for being a wedding factory.

Letting other people control your relationship. And while the gift of prophecy is valuable, you should never let personal prophecies steer your decisions about marriage. Let God personally guide you in this very personal area of life. Ignoring proper boundaries.

Is online dating for christians?

If you are in a dating relationship, you must know your boundaries, discuss them with your partner and commit to staying pure. Missionary dating.

Never start a romantic relationship with a guy or girl who is not a believer. But the opposite happens: The unbeliever changes you—after he or she has broken your heart, compromised your morals or damaged your faith.

Lack of healthy confidence. Some guys I know are stuck in a state of spiritual limbo when it comes to their dating life. Develop some healthy aggression.

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And while it is true that some women prefer to be pursued, remember that Ruth proposed to Boaz in the Old Testament story. God wants singles to have undistracted devotion to Jesus see 1 Cor. Yet too often we look to other people to bring the inner fulfillment that only Christ gives.

Seek healing from the Holy Spirit for those issues before you commit to a serious relationship. Spiritual stalking.

If you have to sneak around like a private detective to get a date, you need a new strategy. If a woman tells you she is not interested in going out with you, honor her request and move on. Not discerning a spiritual predator. One single female friend of mine said she went out with a man who did a financial seminar at her church.

Dating disasters and how to avoid them

Because the guy was invited to speak from a pulpit she assumed he was a man of character, but he tried to get her into bed with him on the first date. It became quickly obvious he was an imposter. Beware of wolves. You must walk in the Spirit if you want to protect your purity and save yourself for the right person. Article source: www.