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The unspoken rules of girl code imply that it's basically never OK to date your friend's ex, especially your best friend's former boyfriend. Whether or not you believe your situation is an exception, you should always talk to your friend before making any crucial decisions.
It all comes down to how your friend feels about it. You were a good friend and kept your feelings to yourself for long enough. It was a mutual breakup with no hard feelings. This is the ideal situation. Go ahead and ask him out.
You never think anything could breakup you and your best friend, but you could be wrong. Everyone has unspoken rules or guidelines around what is and is not okay to do in their friendship, otherwise known as bro or girl code.
5 questions to ask yourself before you date a friend’s ex
These guidelines might be as harmless as not giving unsolicited advice to more serious deal breakers like not abandoning your intoxicated friend at a party. While we can all agree the ex-files is not territory we should be steering into, sometimes life happens and we fall for people unexpectedly. Beyond mutual unhealthiness, was their relationship abusive?
If so, there are two things you should seriously contemplate:. Side Note: A history of violence or aggressive behavior is a huge red flag that should not be ignored. Even if your potential partner is kind and loving at the start of the relationship and actively seeking counseling to curb their controlling and aggressive behavior there is always the possibility they will repeat past behavior.
Stay alert for any of the 10 s of an Unhealthy Relationship and seek help call for immediate assistance, campus security or the National Domestic Violence Hotline if you feel unsafe or uncomfortable at any point. Before you proceed, be sure both parties your friend and their ex have had ample time to get over each other.
Was the relationship serious? Serious relationships take time to get over.
The last thing you want to do is start something with someone that has unresolved feelings for your friend or vice versa. And when you do, pay attention to their body language and tone of voice.
Side Note: Communication is a must for every healthy relationship. Ugh, so messy.
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One of the most important questions you should ask yourself is this: is this relationship worth permanently or temporarily losing a friend? Side Note: Let your friend have as much space as they need especially if their actions point to some reservations about your new bae.
Be thoughtful and considerate of their feelings and be as transparent as possible when discussing your desire to date that special person. You never want your friend to feel blindsided if you decide a relationship with their ex is worth a shot.
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