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How to tell if your weird, I am How to tell if your weird friend who like theater

Socially awkward people often get told they're weird. It's a tricky word to deal with because it has both positive and negative connotations, and we use it to describe all kinds of things. Sometimes it refers to something that's offbeat or different, but not necessarily bad.

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Posted August 24, Reviewed by Ekua Hagan. The U. We also have deep-seated beliefs about ourselves. These beliefs are substantiated by a lifetime of personal experience amplified by our cultural affiliation.

Personal beliefs are wide-ranging and may include assessments of how favorably we compare to others, evaluations of what we do well or poorly, which individual traits we value, and how we think we should present ourselves in public.

The problem worsens when we hold false or unjustified beliefs about ourselves because these beliefs establish the boundaries for our goals and behaviors. The damage from irrational, unjustified, or false self-beliefs and personal misconceptions accelerates when the strength of the beliefs are so powerful and intense that the beliefs dominate your behaviors and how you interact with the world.

Minimally, people may question your motives and scrutinize the degree of passion you express toward certain people, topics, and causes. In extreme cases, others will question why you appear to act so irrational and bizarre.

Often, false beliefs carry consequences for the individual. If you are dissatisfied with your personal or professional growth, the impact of false self-beliefs can lead to feelings of apathy, depressionor feeling alone in a room full of other people.

The Big Five. Five of the most flagrant and influential self-beliefs that impact performance are described below. Be cautious if you find yourself thinking or believing any of these common misconceptions about the self. However, if you harbor any of these self-beliefs, you should remain optimisticbecause beliefs are always subject to revision.

Keep in mind that the first step toward personal or professional growth is awareness of what needs to change and understanding how your motives drive the behavior you seek. We set standards of excellence for our personal and professional agendas in one of three ways. We can compare ourselves to our own past achievements, to an objective set of standards, or to other people. In turn, the points of comparison help determine the goals we set. Social comparison sends a al to others that we are more focused on competition and eliminating envy than we are about personal improvement.

Social comparisons are especially tricky, because only one type of social comparison actually fosters improvement: upward comparison.

Comparing yourself to someone you perceive as superior can prompt you to develop skills, but still may limit success if you are actually capable of achievement beyond that of the comparison target. Alternatively, downward comparisons generally just make you feel better about yourself, rather than motivating personal improvement as in the case of upward comparison.

These downward comparisons are used by people who lack confidence or self-esteem and who worry about what others think of them. Downward comparisons feel good in the short-term, because when we believe others are inferior relative to ourselves, our brains produce the feel-good neurotransmitter dopamineenhancing our perception of well-being Qui et al.

Many people operate under the flawed presumption that no matter how hard they try or what they accomplish, attaining happiness is about as probable as finding a unicorn in the White House. Contrary to popular beliefs and some commercial publications, you cannot become happy merely by smiling. You can, however, achieve happiness if you know what happiness How to tell if your weird is—a highly subjective emotion that is not exclusively determined by wealth, relationships, or perpetual optimism.

So, what can you do to inch even closer to your happiness goal? First, figure out what you value. Second, realize that mere attainment of goals is not the answer, unless you celebrate by focusing on what you accomplished and avoid immediately thinking about the next thing. Third, give your life a jolt of reality.

12 indisputable s that you’re the weird friend

Whether we like it or not, we will lose loved ones, we may get fired from a job, and we might suffer physical and mental health setbacks. People who recover from misfortunes best are those who use the event to become How to tell if your weird and wiser—thus contributing to and not impeding their happiness. Finally, talk to other people. As a university professor, I interact with my students dozens of times each day.

When an asment is missed or a failing test score is earned, I often receive s with a litany of reasons why things did not go according to plan. The s invariably imply that either a series of unfortunate events e. We can operate with the motivationally superior belief that we can change and grow when we invest personal effort, or we can believe and act like we are at the mercy of the world, incapable of influencing our personal or professional destinies. These folks believe it is better to viewed as weird or unmotivated rather than to be looked upon as incapable. Growth mindset people realize that failure ultimately le to success.

Instead of stagnation, they allow themselves to learn and admit fault because they realize that successful people make mistakes all the time at least according to Amazon.

A survey of 2, college-educated Americans revealed that 73 percent believe they are above average in intelligence. These update the seminal study that substantiated what is known as the Dunning-Krueger effectwhereby people routinely overestimate their cognitive abilities and are oblivious to the mistakes they make. Skill inflation contributes to an extraordinary workplace phenomena: college gr showing up for work thinking they can do the job, when in reality they are ill-prepared.

A recent Gallup survey found that only 11 percent of business leaders strongly agreed that students have the appropriate skills and competencies for job success, while 96 percent of academic officers from their universities believed their students were highly qualified.

How weird are you?

Ironically, former Duke Professor, Stuart Rojstaczer, analyzed 50 years of publicly-available university data and discovered that the average grade point average GPA has risen from 2. Beside career derailment, over-confidence makes us appear incorrigible because we are ignorant of our own subpar performance.

When we are in a professional environment, we may not recognize the obvious, using flawed reasoning or logic to support our claims, while resisting objective feedback from more knowledgeable others. In some cases, miscalibrated individuals are unable to distinguish truth from wishful thinking, which not only gives others an obtuse impression, but lead to some of the greatest mistakes in the history of the world. Humans have an insatiable need to search for the causes of events, outcomes, and behaviors.

If something goes wrong, we want to know why and who was responsible. If something turns out right, first we take credit and then we seek to understand the reasons for success to replicate the desired outcome next time. Humans also enjoy the convenience of withholding cognitive effort whenever possible Stanovich, Why think and reason when you can generalize?

The combination of seeking causality and resting our brain in labeling individuals according to specific characteristics and traits. Not unlike a doctor who indicates a diagnostic code to summarize a bunch of symptoms, we diagnose ourselves and others.

Labeled self-assessment becomes a problem leading to weird and inaccurate branding of people for several reasons. First, there is no such thing as a fixed motivation type, despite what some consultants and authors would like you to believe. Although you may exhibit dominant motivations, behaviors change according to the situation, the people involved, and our emotions, among other mediating factors.

Reasons someone may see you as weird, in the bad sense of the word

Second, generalizing assumes all people with a specific label are motivated by the same things. Not only can similar behaviors represent different motives, but there is a huge variation in the behavior of people with the same label. Third, sometimes the label in the person acting the way they think they are supposed to act based on the label ascribed to them.

Individuals who maintain the status quo will feel better about themselves when they can blame lack of success on an unjust and unfair society, rather than when they objectively evaluate and take ability for their own behavior. If you think or exhibit any of the weird thoughts and behaviors described—do not worry.

All behaviors can be changed when the person gains self-awareness and actually wants to change. First, start by comparing yourself to your past performance and strive for incremental success by besting your own accomplishments. Second, figure out what makes you happy and bask in the enjoyment of the accomplishment in the here and now. Wait a few days before planning the next thing — you deserve the down time and glory. Third, realize that you can change your probability of success by being prepared.

Do work in advance, avoid simply reacting to the world, and instead plan and influence your destiny. Fourth, realize you have a unique set of skills, abilities, and potential, but be realistic and objective. Unlike an ingredient label on a jar of pickles or a can of beans, your flavor How to tell if your weird all the time! Kruger, J. Unskilled and unaware of it: how difficulties in recognizing one's own incompetence lead to inflated self-assessments.

Journal of Personality and Social Psychology77 6 Qiu, J. The impact of social comparison on the neural substrates of reward processing: An event-related potential study. Neuroimage49 1 Sandstrom, G. Social interactions and well-being: The surprising power of weak ties.

Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin40 7 Sobol-Kwapinska, M. Positive time: Balanced time perspective and positive orientation. Journal of Happiness Studies17 4 Stanovich, K. What intelligence tests miss: The psychology of the rational mind.

Bobby HoffmanPh. Bobby Hoffman Ph. References Kruger, J. About the Author. Read Next. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help.