How to create intimacy in your marriage, Swiss woman search boy to How to create intimacy in your marriage
Originally posted on LifeWay Women. This is rare in the Straub home but on this night, we abandoned it all for a family dance party— leaving behind an overflowing sink of dishes, food on the table, sticky refrigerator, and crumbs on the floor screaming for us to step in them.
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Intimacy in a relationship is a feeling of being close, and emotionally connected and supported. It means being able to share a whole range of thoughts, feelings and experiences that we have as human beings. It involves being open and talking through your thoughts and emotions, letting your guard down being vulnerableand showing someone else how you feel and what your hopes and dreams are. Intimacy is built up over time, and it requires patience and effort from both partners to create and maintain. Discovering intimacy with someone you love can be one of the most rewarding aspects of a relationship. Apart from emotional and sexual intimacy, you can also be intimate intellectually, recreationally, financially, spiritually, creatively for example, renovating your home and at times of crisis working as a team during tough times.
This means that I make a small commission off of purchases made through links at no extra cost to you. Links are provided for your convenience. Yesterday, I shared a secret to increase intimacy in your marriage.
Intimacy as in the close like, know and trust in your spouse. Because intimacy is so much more than the physical that everyone thinks about when they hear the word. I was listening to the One Extraordinary Marriage podcast a while back. Tony and Alisa were talking about the different types of intimacy in marriage; emotional, intellectual, spiritual, experiential, financial, and physical.
How do you create intimacy in your marriage in each of areas?
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They have an intimacy lifestyle message that has made a big difference for a lot of couples! Emotional intimacy is created when you share your feelings, thoughts, desires and dreams with each other. Sit down and draw out your dream home together.
Make sure you share the why behind your dream home features. Then you can pull it out and refer to it when you get to that point in your life. Pick up one of these great conversation starters for couples.
Asking each other one question a night will help you connect and discuss things on a deeper level than you might have normally. Connect, beyond date night!
Find something fun you can do together. You might go for a walk together, grab your favorite drink and talk in your car, play a game, or watch a new episode of your favorite show and talk about it afterward. These are simple things you can do amidst the chaos of life!
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This app has suggestions and questions for discussing sex, expressing needs to your spouse, learning to listen, letting your spouse know they are appreciated, create love maps, and more. Intellectual intimacy is created by learning together. This learning usually relates to an important issue, topic or interest in your marriage. Learn something together! Research a mutual hobby that you have.
If you like to grill like we do in our marriage, watch YouTube videos, research rubs and sauces, create a new recipe, etc. Read a book together, fiction or non-fiction.
I know a few couples who get two copies of the same book. They read it separately and then sit down and discuss the book at the end.
You might even have the person who picked the book come up with questions to talk about together. This might be a budgeting or finance class, parenting class for toddlers or teenagers, or a health issue that someone in your family is facing.
Learn everything you can and work together to support each other in the different areas of your lives. Spiritual intimacy is built around your shared religious beliefs and they way you choose to practice your religion together. Read your devotional together each morning, or before you go to bed at night.
But I know there are others you can find just by searching online or asking other couples in your religious community. Study the scriptures together. Work your way through them chapter by chapter, study scriptures on specific topics or study based on different stories. And be open to learning from each other and hearing what the other spouse has to say. Everyone receives different impressions and absorbs different things from what we read, even at different times in our lives. We can learn a lot by taking notes and sharing our insight with each other.
Discuss how you plan to incorporate your religion into your home and family as it grows. How will you encourage your children to grow a testimony of their own and explore their own spiritual beliefs? Attend worship services for other faiths. Go with the idea that you will participate fully in their services. And have an open mind to the things they have to share. Maybe do a little research about the faith before attending, so you have a basic knowledge going in and can ask questions to learn deeper while you are there.
Look for the ways that your two religions are the same. And be curious and kind, not defensive or judgmental about why their religion believes the way that they do. Go with a goal to learn, understand and accept.
Experiential intimacy is created by actively enjoying life together and participating in various activities.
Find something active that you like to do together. Maybe you like to go to the gym together, go on hikes every weekend, go on a family bike ride or buy roller blades and hold hands while you skate around the neighborhood.
Relationships - creating intimacy
You might participate in a sport like soccer, swimming or softball and a team together. Or separate teams and watch each other play. Maybe you simply take walks together every night as the sun is setting. Add some culture to your date nights. Go to the opera, a play, see a musical, attend a concert, or visit a local museum. Become season ticket holders or members at one of the venues.
This could be a great gift that you purchase for yourselves each year for Christmas, to enhance your relationship and your lives in the coming year. Every other date night, do something a little more active than dinner and a movie or different than your regular date night activities.
Go on a hike, go bowling, play mini golf, go skiing, etc.
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Share the kitchen and make a meal together on a regular basis. You might choose to work together on all aspects of the meal.
You could also buy various cookbooks online and work your way through them together. Learning to make new dishes or mastering a specific way of cooking grilling, smoking, baking, slow cooker, pressure cooker, etc. Financial intimacy is created by making a plan for your money and being willing to communicate in the process. Talk about your finances! Create a budget monthly, set financial goals, and consider combining your bank s.
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Have a budget meeting each week while you get the hang of things. Then pull back and have your meetings every pay day.
Have these four financial discussions before you get married or after if you are already married. Discuss how you will tackle debt together, if you have any. Viewing your debt as a team will make you more successful when trying to pay it off. Find some sort of chart you can use to track your progress. Then set rewards for different milestones along the way. If your finances are based on the goals that you have, you will be more likely to manage them well. Take a finance course together to help you get on the same financially. The way you talk about money in marriage is a lot about what you value and your goals.
I have personally taken that course with my husband. It has helped to get us get back on the same and working toward our financial goals again.