There are countless books, instructional videos, and colorful diagrams devoted to answering the question, "How can I please my lover in bed? Chris Donaghuesex and relationship therapist, podcast hostand author of Rebel Love. In the spirit of enjoying the ride, we asked experts to recommend the best sex tips for women.
Knowing what brings you pleasure doesn't just make sex more satisfying for you ; it boosts your confidence during an encounter, making things more fun for everyone involved. Whether you've been together for years or just started seeing each other, it's likely you'll learn something new about your bedmate's desires by If you're sheepish about broaching the subject, preferring to go by moans alone, remember that it's a chance to learn more about each other and make sex better in the long run. She says,"Approach your partner with empathy, and express a desire to bring them the most pleasure possible.
Use (and ask for) multiple levels of stimulation.
Then, share your desires as well. Tap your phone's potential as a seduction tool by sending sexy texts—a. You can share a fantasyor describe—in detail—what you'd like to do to them later. If you're both new to exchanging sexts, you might want to start off PG and let things naturally escalate at your own pace. Only you can speak to the specific vibe of your text exchanges such as whether peppering in some eggplant emoji will be met with laughter as opposed to confusionso the main rule is to keep it playful.
One more tip: Fix your phone's notification settings to prevent new messages from displaying on your lock screen. You might strike up a dialogue about the speed or pressure your partner enjoys when you're stroking them down there.
And don't neglect the rest of their body, either—skin is the body's largest organafter all. Rub their thighs, stomach, and any other place they've let you know they like to be touched. The prostate—the typically-walnut-sized gland located between a man's penis and bladder—is most often discussed in a medical context.
But Donaghue urges people not to "shame or avoid this powerful, pleasure-giving body part. It can lead to bigger, and even multiple orgasms. Some men are able to experience a prostate orgasm—as the International Society for Sexual Medicine points out, this earns its nickname as "the male G-spot. You should be using lube no matter the situation. Skipping personal lubricant can lead to vaginal tearing, irritation from friction, and pain during sex, Engle explains. To find the lubricant that's best for you, here's a lube primer—and ten great options.
Sexual fantasies are far from unusual—in fact, here are eight of the most common ones. Donaghue calls fantasies the "most honest parts of our sexuality. If you've never used a sex toy in the bedroom before, Donaghue recommends them to "amp up arousal and to explore diverse sensations. Once considered the province of perverts, toys have come a long way in terms of image, features, and the materials they're made from. There's an exciting product out there for every taste— like these 20 for couples to enjoyfor example. Donaghue says that though our turn-ons are "always evolving and changing," it's easy to "fall into sexual habits and routines, reinforcing the same sexual behaviors over and over.
Even those who are wholly devoted to a ificant other can find themselves attracted to someone else. Instead of beating yourself up about your natural, hormonal reaction or worse, acting on it and cheatingredirect those fired-up feelings and love the one you're with. To that end, she recommends more oral sex all around—not just giving, but receiving, too.
Your pleasure will be a turn-on for your partner, and Engle urges you to "take as long as you need to fully enjoy yourself, and orgasm, if that's on the table. Getting fully aroused is crucial before having intercourse, as the vagina naturally lubricates and expands, and oral sex can get you there.
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Intense Os are great, but they're not the be-all and end-all, and pressure to perform is like a cold splash of ice water on an otherwise good time. When you don't feel pressured, you can experience your full range of pleasure. Your Best Life.
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